The Hardest Post I've Ever Written

Monday, May 6, 2013

I started a new blog today, called Mary Jane's Makeup.  It's named after my mom. I don't have the heart to write again here why I started it, so I'm showing you what I posted there today.  Your support means the world to me. Seriously.
xo Stacy


This blog is going to be about fun stuff - makeup, shoes, jewelry, and all things beautiful.  But before I get to that, by way of introduction, I'm going to write the hardest post I have ever written (and I have over 600 on my other blog).

This is my mom, about 4 years ago, before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  Her mother had it, too, so we knew it was a strong possibility that she would get it.  Even so, we ignored the early signs, writing them off as her just being silly, as a product of her Dyslexia, etc.  

Because we SO didn't want her to have it.

You all probably know the signs and risk factors.  If you don't, you can learn more here.

One of the worst things about this disease, in my opinion, is how it makes the patient feel. Yes, it is hell for the family and for the caregivers, but it is worse for her.  A lot of people say differently, but I just don't agree.  These are things my mom has said:

"I don't feel like myself."
"I don't know who I am."
"I'm losing myself."
"I feel like I'm losing my soul."
Tough to hear, and even tougher to feel.

So I'm writing this blog to act in the only way I can - to help raise funds for research.

Why beauty you ask?  Because my mom is beautiful.  And she always loved everything about beauty - clothes, makeup, jewelery, etc., just like I do.  

The first truly beautiful thing I ever knew was my mother.  I remember being a small child and sitting on her bed on Saturday evenings to watch her get ready to go out.  I fell in love with the routine, the clothes, the ornamentation, the beauty of it all.

Now she can't dress herself, never mind wear makeup.  But I will always remember her the way I saw her as a child - the true Mary Jane.

My parents with my children, about 4 years ago
My mom with my daughter, also 4 years ago
With my daughter, 2 or 3 years ago

And me. With over-processed hair and lipstick on my teeth.

God, I still need and miss you Mom.

I hope you choose to follow along on this journey with me.  And thank you from the bottom of my heart for patronizing my sponsors - much of the proceeds will go to the Mayo Clinic to fund Alzheimer's research (As much as I can afford. I expect to give more to the charity the first year than I make on the blog, since it is new. If things change, i.e., I actually make  some money for charity on this blog, I'll let you know. My charity of choice at the moment is the Mayo Clinic.)  And I promise, this will be the only sad post.

xo Stacy


So, that's it. The new blog! I'm extremely sad today, having just written that first post, but also excited about it, and I'll be better soon.  Thank you all so much for reading.  If you want to visit the new blog, you can click below:

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Karen Albert said...

I am so sorry for your family and so proud of you Stacy. I am not in your position though my Mother is battling cancer. I will support you in your new blog!

Art by Karena

Alie said...

So so sorry for you and your family. I recently came across this link - thought may be helpful - or maybe you have already heard/not interested/already tried - but just in case - a 5 min video with a GP whose husband got alzheimers - I thought was really interesting and hopeful (and so doable) - http://tv.greenmedinfo.com/man-dramatically-reverses-alzheimers-symptoms-with-coconut-oil/

Jennifer@ClassicStyleHome said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. It's a disease I see frequently as a nurse and know how hard it is on the family, but especially the patient. This new blog is a great tribute to your mom and I know it's going to be great!

The enchanted home said...

Stacy, this was a beautiful tribute to your mother. It is so sad how this disease can impact the lives of not only the person with it but all those who love them. Love your idea of the new blog and you know I will be following along and supporting you every step of the way.
I loved the pictures of you and your mom and one thing that hasn't changed that you can be sure, is the obvious love for you that fills your moms heart, remember no disease will ever take that away.

Interior Design Musings said...

Hey Stacey,
Just know, there are lots of us with you on this! It runs in my family too, so this post is near and dear to my heart as well. Here's wishing you luck on the new blog! M.

Kathryn Ferguson Griffin said...

Oh, Stacy, I'm so sorry! I have no idea what you and your family and more importantly you mom is going through. My heart aches for you. The pictures of your mom are beautiful. Keep loving as you have been. I will definitely be over to check out the new blog. Hugs. Kathryn @TheDedicatedHouse

Brenda Murphy said...

You have had a tough time and I like that you are creating a positive and creative outlet in support of your mother and others with Alzheimers. What a rotten disease. Thank you for sharing, you have lots of support from us in blogland. xob

PURA VIDA said...

what a dear moving post as we come upon mother's day! bless you

Teresa at Splendid Sass said...

I loved this post, Stacy/ My mother and grandmother died from Alzheimer's. It is certainly the devil in disguise!
What a person goes through, and the fear they feel is heartbreaking.
This is a great thing you are doing.
Happy Tuesday.

Merlin said...

Oh, dear, I could have written verbatim...we are just preparing to leave to see "my Mom" who "crossed over" the past six months. It is all unbearable..I just want to "hold her" and it will be all right again... franki

Cynthia said...

Stacy, I am so sorry you have had to deal with such a horrible disease. I really loved this post, very touching.


Stacy Curran said...

Alie-I don't have information for you, but I hope you see this. Thank you so much for the link. I recently read that too… I hope it's true!

Taylor Greenwalt said...

Stacy...this hit home.... as I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes reading your blog...I know what your family is going through...my father also has Alzheimer and it is so hard to watch my father and my mother go through this...its hard on the whole family...the care for someone to go into a home in our area is about 10,000 a month and the homes that medi-cal will pay for are horrible...you wouldn't want to put a loved one there..but sometimes one doesn't have a choice.

Donna-s Lair said...

Stacy, so sorry you and your family are experiencing this disease. My father passed away from it after a decade long battle. It almost killed my mom having to care for him. He ended up in a war veterans home. She refused to go see him there. It was hard on us all. His father and mother, originally from England, also died from the disease, as well as his two brothers. I'm 55 and sweating bullets. I pray for a cure. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Stacy, This is my third attempt to leave a comment, so I apologize in advance if the other 2 went through. My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's as well and passed away last September. I know the hurt, pain and suffering you and your family are feeling. I do want to call attention to one thing late in my father's journey that gave us hope, but sadly he was not one of the few who was "misdiagnosed". I do not know if you have ever heard of Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus, but a neurologist we took my Dad to (after years of care from his primary physician) wanted to test him. Apparently about 25% of patients diagnosed with Alzheimer's actually have NHP and their condition and symptoms can be completely reversed. Sadly, my Dad was not one of those. Shortly after taking him to the neurologist, an article appeared in the Wall Street Journal. I tell everyone I know who has a family member about this condition, hoping someone along the way will be correctly diagnosed and their loved ones symptoms will be reversed. I do not want to give you false hope, but if your mother has not been tested for NHP, it certainly is worth a shot. Feel free to email me if you are not familiar with NHP and you would like more information. My email is sbush@uga.edu
God Bless you and your family !! Shay

amyp said...

Hugs to you! My family is now going through a similar situation with my father in law, and it is a terribly debilitating disease for all. I will support your new blog.... And hope that it will continue to give you hope for future bright days!

Tery H said...

Stacy- I am not going to pretend I know what you and your family are going through but I am a daughter and a mother. You are a wonderful daughter. It's obvious your mother did a great job raising you. She is proud of you and I am amazed and inspired by you. What a great way to honor you mother! I will definitely support your new blog!

Shirley@Housepitality Designs said...

Stacy..just signed up for your new blog...I cannot imagine the hurt and pain you and your family are going through...and I love that you have diverted your energies to benefit Alzheimer's research...I am sure that your mom would be so very proud of what you are doing...do not worry about sad posts..we all need to express our feelings...be it sad or happy...we are always here to listen.

diane said...

A difficult disease to deal with but your words are beautiful, as is your Mom. I hope this helps you deal with this and thanks for sharing a very private struggle.

Wendi @ Classic Chic Home said...

What a beautiful and touching tribute to your mother, Stacy. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. Please know that you're in my prayers, and I'm so proud of you for turning this painful journey into something beautiful.
~ Wendi xo