Nasty Comments and Listening to Your Inner Design Goddess

Thursday, February 27, 2014

I got this comment yesterday on the very first post I ever wrote, three years ago (here). I update the post from time to time because it is called "Our Home Through the Years."  So yesterday, a new person came over and wrote, anonymously of course
 "Everything is now gray. One room looks like the next. Not a fan. Now you just need to stain the house gray and no one will know if they are on the inside of the house or the outside."
My response: 
The previous comment is not worthy of a long response. We all know what type of person writes comments like that, so I don't need to say it. What I will say to the anonymous commenter, whoever you are, is that I sincerely wish you more happiness in the future than I expect you have right now.
For everyone else, one important point that I would like to make has to do with my philosophy about decorating. I strongly believe that every person should decorate their homes with what they like. Even if no one else in the world likes it. The point of decorating a home is to make it nurturing, loving, and happy. A place you want to go home to at night. Some people don't need any decorating to feel that way, which is totally fine, whereas others, like me and a lot of you readers, find joy and happiness and peace in beauty. But of course beauty is subjective. I say if you want to paint your whole house hot pink because it makes you happy then by all means go for it! Please please please, whatever you do, don't let other people's opinions get you down. Having different tastes and having beauty be subjective is what makes everyone unique and special. And while I may not personally care for the work of some designers, I love that they are bringing what they feel is beautiful into the world and I applaud them, rather than criticize them, for doing it. 
There are sad people out there who leave tons of negative comments - we've all gotten them. I actually laughed at this one, before I became sad for her (or him). But I'm sharing the experience not for sympathy over a mean comment, or for you to tell me how wrong she is....really I don't need that. I'm sharing it because if ONE person learns to do what they love and not care too much about the opinions of others, I'll be so happy. And sometimes people need help bringing their ideas together, and they hire us. Or they have no idea what they like, so they hire us. Or they do it themselves. But in every instance, if the person likes something and it makes them happy, whether they are working with a decorator or not, they should incorporate it. (And if they don't like it, no amount of reassurance that it is fabulous will work!) Isn't that what it's all about - being happy for the short time we are here? 

Oh, and also, don't leave mean comments. It's bad karma :)

Ok, onto the rooms!

My favorite sales today:

Emma said...

That's an excellent decorating philosophy. Do it for you because it's your home and you will see it more often than anyone else!

Beautiful spread of rooms here--including, of course, the gray ones!

Eliza Beth said...

Good Thursday morning to you Stacy.

You make an excellent point, and i do hope people take heart from it.

Our homes are our sanctuaries, big or small, new or old. All that matters is that they make US happy - not someone else.

So many times i think people try to do what they believe is popular based on the latest magazines, or what one of their friends is doing, or even take the advice of a decorator they think will know better than them even if they don't end up liking the decorator's choices.

Unless you LOVE those things, unless they work for you functionally as well as aesthetically, those of us that are passionate about our homes will never be happy. It will just always feel off, or wrong.

There are times of course, when someone can guide you against making mistakes.
(I remember once ordering a couch that went totally against the color scheme of the whole house - and it never felt right, even though it was my favorite color!)

Or omitting the basic embellishments like crown molding, window trim and baseboard - which dress ANY house up beautifully.

It's interesting to me how the mean people are (almost always) anonymous. I've gotten some doozies over the years. And even though I KNOW the person is unhappy / angry / ignorant and/or has issues -- it still hurts until I can get philosophical about it.

Now onto your gorgeous eye candy for the day:
My favorites are…
#9 the white kitchen with the wood floors, ceiling treatment and upper glass cabinets.
#11 the blue backsplash, white marble slab island, upholstered banquette and all the windows in that white kitchen
#12 the inviting bookshelves
#13 I loved the 'pop' of orange sherbet color in the painting and accent pillow
#20 the blue and white fabric on the breakfast bar chairs, the lantern, the white paint, the ceiling treatment, the fresh flowers:)

Laura said...

Beautiful post, Stacy. Interesting that people feel it is necessary to make negative comments. Of course, they are entitled to a differing opinion, but I wonder why they don't just unsubscribe!?!

I look forward to your beautiful choices. Keep up the good work. Are you almost recovered from all the fire damage?
:-) Laura

Sandra Garth said...

You always make great points and I love the way you always encourage us to go with what feels good. I love my home with all it's imperfections and I share it so my readers can get to know me better. I come here so I can be inspired and grab and idea or color combo here and there. There is always a great mix of styles and truly something for everyone. Thank you Stacy!

Merlin said...

RIGHT ON!! Gray is here to stay...love it (and your posts!!) franki

Sandy said...

Stacy, you are absolutely right, one should decorate with what makes them happy! And as for the nasty person who left the mean comment...I always find it interesting that someone would feel so self-important that they need to inflict their meanness on others. What makes that kind of person think anyone is interested in their vile comments? Not only is it bad karma, it's bad manners!

Cyn T said...

Hahahahaaaa...I too had a good laugh! "Rudeness is the weak man's (woman's)imitation of strength!" One has to wonder how she came upon your Beautiful Blog? Obviously she was drawn to it at some point....
You were very generous in your response! I happen to Love & Enjoy Interior Design Period. I spend time looking at every aspect of the gorgeous rooms you post sometimes discovering a cool accessory on a table or shelve, or a window treatment or rug etc. each time I view a photo I find sometime else that is very cool! The imagination of designers is something to behold!
Cheers Stacy!!!

Catherine said...

Your blog and home have been such an inspiration to me. In fact, its my go-to read when I really don't have time to be on the computer. I love a soft neutral palette ... I find it restful. I agree with your comments about making a home one's own sanctuary and with your comments about the type of person that needs to be so negative ... anonymously I might add. At the end of the day, we all must do what makes us happy.

Cyn T said...

Spelling error...shelf not shelve! Can't have that! Lol!Cheers!

Cynthia said...

Kudos to you girlfriend. I agree with you completely. It has to be what you love and want to see everyday and night. I am making sure I am picking out what I love and John loves in our home. It is about us and not what others like. Yes, I want people to enjoy our home and like what I select but I am doing this for us.

By the way, some great kitchens in here!!!


freddyandpetunia said...

Awww, too bad CLOSED MINDS don't come with CLOSED MOUTHS and "anonymous" people don't just learn to BE KIND or BE QUIET!
Even though I haven't had any mean comments, I have "anonymous commenting" turned off for reasons like that.
Just know how many more of us there are who appreciate all you share than that little "crumb."

Lisa @ Lisas Creative Designs said...

I received a really nasty comment last year. The woman had nothing better to do than insult my work. I guess there are a lot of people who never learned the lesson "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I think some people get off making other people feel bad and it's real easy when you are hiding behind a computer. I would bet that person would not have said those same comments if she came to visit your home in person. I say, hit delete and ignore people like that. Enjoy your work and if you love it, that's all that matters!

Kay dancingbrushpainting.blogspot.com said...

Love the lighting in some of these!!!!! And I was just thinking: Radiant Orchid seems to be blatantly/blessedly missing from all the design blogs/publications I'm reading. :)

Scat said...

Some people- ugh!

helen boulos said...

I love, love, love this site! IMO people who are mean are usually not terribly happy. Thanks for sharing your beautiful work! It brightens my days

Lee Johnson said...

How sad to be so narrow minded that your not able to appreciate the beauty someone else has created in their life even if it is not your taste. Maybe one day someone will create a big blue pill that will cure the epidemic known as BAD MANNERS,

I so enjoy you blog. You always give me great inspiration. Kudos to you!!!

e.Mle said...

So well said - your remarks about nasty comments.
I do have a question. How do I pin the fabulous photos that you post .. So many things I want to keep but don't know how. Can you help me?

Anonymous said...

I LOVE photo #16, with the 2-level counter. Perfect height for little kids or for baking work.

A happy reader said...

Your blog has consistently beautiful pictures, always a delight. Thank you.

Alexandra said...

Ugh... I haaaate negative comments. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face than it's probably because it's very rude and you shouldn't. I especially hate mean comments on something as personal as style, because in reality why should it bother someone? I personally LOVE photos of other people's homes no matter what the style because I really have a love for all types of design... and as you said if it makes someone happy than its serving its purpose anyway. Well said Stacy! :)

michelle said...

Phooey on that grouch. If you can't say something nice, why say anything? I'm often told my home is beautiful, but I don't have an original thought in my head. All my decorating comes from copying lovely homes I see in blogs like yours. So what if something seems trendy or "everyone is doing it". If you see something done frequently, and done well, if it speaks to you, then it's only natural to want to be surrounded by similar lovely surroundings. Not every fad is for everyone, but that's just individual choice. I happen to love the very calming, monotone look that is so popular today because I have chaos in other areas. It soothes me. Your home is lovely. Your blog is my "save it for last 'cause it's my favorite". Kudos for taking the high road and giving such a well-mannered response.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. You consistently have more photos of various styles than almost any other blog I read. I don't know how you keep up with all of your gorgeous pics. It is a shame that people can't find what style they like and not comment on the styles they do not. Thanks for being such a valuable resource of great ideas and great design.

Katherine said...

Those who respond negatively and sign the comment 'anon' really just need to move on. Whenever I read comments like that I just want to say 'so just don't look or comment for that matter'.

Anyway - love your inspiration!

Elizabeth@ Pine Cones and Acorns said...

I could not agree with you more about your design philosphy, we are all different, we all have different likes and dislikes and should decorate our homes to suit our tastes.

I think your attitude is wonderful.

Now on to your beautiful light fixture...I LOVE IT! And I love all of the beautiful images you posted today.

Have a wonderful weekend! Stay warm.

Deborah Higdon said...

All I can say is AMEN SISTER!

Melissa R. said...

Hello Stacy,
I've been enjoying your blog for a while. Thank you so much for the collection of images and your lovely, cheerful editorial. I like your encouragement to embrace what we love. It goes with my new mantra: Inhabit your own Life. Not bad as a decorating slogan, right? I find it difficult sometimes to listen to the "inner goddess" because she knows what she likes as to individual elements but not as sure about how to put them together. Hence, the reliance on outside sources. All worth the work. I'd like to ask if it's possible to provide more sources for the images you post? I'd love to be able to identify and find what we're seeing. Thanks, Stacy.

The enchanted home said...

Stacy anyone who posts something negative to me is just a miserable person who is making themselves feel better by tearing someone else down. I always say it takes the same energy to be nice as it does to be mean..so why? I am sorry but don't let it get you down, we all know your home is gorgeous!!!! You are super talented and you are so right about OUR homes reflecting OUR personal style with what makes US happy. Who is anyone to judge that? I have learned to do two things- delete and carry on:)

Jennifer@ClassicStyleHome said...

I hope that commenter never walks into a Restoration Hardware. She'll never make it out if she finds gray confusing. ;)

Carrie @ Cosy Carolina Interiors said...

I love your philosophy; so eloquently put, just like the rooms you feature! :)

Linda said...

You pictures are lovely... don't listen to or even allow internet trolls to post negative comments... I'm a blogger too and I've learned... I don't have time for anyone who wants to rain on my parade... just delete them like they never existed.. it will probably irritate them ... and you're right... bad comments=bad karma

Just keep doing what you're doing... you have a wonderful eye for design.

MH Tammi said...

By posting pics of our own interiors, we share what we speaks to us. The pics we post may not be something we personally would choose, but something in those images inspired us. Sometimes the inspiration works the other way, as it did for the poster who inspired this thread. I love looking at images of interiors, and it challenges me to think outside the box when I come across those that are very different from my own aesthetic. For example, I love looking at a beautiful minimal interior, specially when life is hectic, or I'm trying to get my family to pick up after themselves. I saw a post that said grey is a big design direction right now. Though my colours are blue and white, I can enjoy looking at other colour schemes. Right now, I'm not into grey, but who knows? We evolve and we change our interiors to reflect changes in our lives. I would be very sad if bloggers stopped posting images...very, very, sad. That, indeed would be a grey day.